2 poems in response to a quiz question about a doctor who attempted to introduce trepanning in the belief that it increased intelligence....

there once was a dokter named bart
said "a hole in the head makes you smart
it'll raise up for sure 
yer mind from the sewer
now if only this drill here would start......"

a darin' young fella named Jed
bored a hole in da top ov hiz head
and he felt very bright
until one fateful night 
when hiz brainz leaked all ovah hiz bed

On learning in a trivia quiz that emus an' kangaroos
are incapable of moving backwards......

an emu went walkin outside 
in an alley just twelve inches wide 
met a young kangaroo 
" i cant turn back, can you?" 
so dey stayed dere..... until dey bofe died...

On hearing in a trivia answer that George Washingon
had wooden teeth fitted after losing his own ......

Young Georgey had chopped downa twee!!
"I can't tella lie pa!! twuz me!!
But I needed da wood 
So my teef would look good!!"
(hiz dentures wuz somethin' ta see!!)

"Mary Mary kwite contrary how duz yer gahden grow?"
"Wiv silvah bellzan cockle shellzan pwetty maidz allinarow!!"
"Mary Mary kwite contrary surely yew iz jokin?
Silvah bellzan cockle shellz - jest WHUT have yew been smokin'?"

Humpty Dumpty sat onna wall
Humpty Dumpty hadda gweat fall
All da kings hawses an all da kings men were pissed off ---- 
"Not omelette fer dinnah again!"